Forgiveness ~ Forgiving Your Self

Forgiveness ~ Forgiving Your Self

By Erin Gjertsen

As with everything on My Spirit, read through this and if it resonates as true for you, have fun and do it! If not, continue exploring until you find something that is right for you.

On the path to unconditional love, we want to release judgement and fear. Part of releasing judgment is to forgive ourselves for any perceived wrong doing, as well as forgiving others.

An important part of self love is self acceptance. In order to feel truly loving towards our selves, we need to forgive our self for anything we may have done that we feel bad about.

We are always doing the best we can, given our current awareness. You can begin anew at any time. Now, is another moment. The past is past. Choose a new direction.

   

There Are No Mistakes

It is only our mind saying we should have known better, or that was bad and we are bad for doing it.

From the perspective of the non-physical, our guides, higher self, etc., you are Never doing anything wrong. There are no mistakes, just experience and clarity.

It is just that sometimes, we become so energetically out of balance, that the only thing that feels better, we (and-or society) consider to be wrong. This leads to guilt and shame, far from self love.

We may even have wanted to do that very thing, at a soul level, because we ALL came to Earth to experience Everything. We have been all of it, the kings and queens, the master and the slave, the persecuted and the persecutor, the victim and the perpetrator. As souls we want to experience all of it, to grow, to expand, to have understanding and compassion for everyone we meet when we are in physical bodies.

We choose our families for the assistance they will provide, for us to have the experience we chose before we got here. If your childhood was traumatic, know that you are a true master and you chose that so that you could grow beyond anything you have ever been before.

Forgiving Our Self ~ A Process

So how do we balance the energy? We begin by forgiving our self. There are many processes out there.

Here is one simple self forgiveness process. All you need is a pen and a couple of sheets of paper.

Make a list of all the things you have done, or not done, that you feel bad about when you think of them.

Do this for about 5 minutes. If you have more, you can do it again, later. We want this to be as simple and easy as possible.

Drop into your heart space by thinking of something that feels good to you, something that makes you smile, like a loved one, or favorite pet. Breathe deeply for a moment and really feel that joy. This is your heart space, where you want to spend as much time as possible.

Now, begin with your self forgiveness list. If this is new for you then begin with smaller things on your list; Things that don't hold a great emotional charge.

You can say it out loud, you can write it down, you can say it in your head, or you can do all three. The important thing is to do it with feeling and love.

"I forgive myself for _____".
If you find yourself having trouble with that, you can try
"What if I could forgive myself for _____",
"I can imagine forgiving myself for___",
or "I can imagine how it would feel if I forgave myself for ____".
One is not better than the other. They will all work. Choose the one that feels the best to you. That will be the one where you have the least resistance to self forgiveness.

You may even find that one phrase works better for one item and another works better for a different item on your list.

If you find yourself fighting against a particular forgiveness, just skip over it, for now. Move on to the next. This is not supposed to be difficult or cause pain.

We Are Seeking Relief

You will know by how you feel, whether you are making progress. You are looking for a sense of relief. Most of the time, I find I take a deep breath when I release. Sometimes I yawn. Others will burp, cough, or any combination. It is almost always accompanied by a sense of increased well-being. As you do this, notice what your release is. This can make it easier to see you are making progress, too.

As you forgive yourself more and more, you will find that the items on your list are losing their emotional charge. When you can read an item off your list and you do not feel anything negative about it, then you can cross that off your list.

This is releasing your attachment to them. As you do that, they move out of your field and there is a lot more room for good things to move in. You will find yourself feeling much better about yourself.

You don't need to do this for very long. You can take as little as 5 minutes, at a time, to do this process. The more you do it, the easier it will get.

When you feel done with your self forgiveness list, you might like to tear your list up, or burn it, or bury it in the earth, where it will be transmuted to divine love.

Do not think, because of its simplicity, that this will not work. You may be surprised at how powerful it can be. I am all about releasing the need for things to be difficult and the need to suffer pain in healing. It is totally unnecessary. It is time for us to move through our healing processes with ease and grace.

Forgiving Others

Holding anger on another person is akin to drinking poison and expecting the other to die. It is only affecting you and given enough time it can make you ill.

You can use this same forgiveness process to forgive others. Just change 'Jane' to the person you want to forgive and fill in the blank with what you want to forgive them for.

"I forgive Jane for __ ",
"What if I could forgive Jane for _____",
"I can imagine forgiving Jane for___",
or "I can imagine how it would feel if I forgave Jane for ____".

Again, one is not better than another. Just choose the one that feels the best to you, when you say it.

Some Notes

Stop, if it is uncomfortable. This forgiveness process should be easy and painless. If it is painful, this might not be the process for you. You might like to look at Ho'oponopono.

If you find you have one item you are just not ready to forgive, yet, you can cross it off your list anyway. Begin a new list and add that item to the new list. Tear up, burn, or bury your old list knowing that your item is on its way out.

Insanity is doing the same thing the same way, over and over, and expecting a different result.
~Einstein

This is why we have a toolbox. Everything works, but not everything works all the time and not everything works for everyone. I find I use many processes. If one doesn't work on this 'issue', I choose another, and another, and another, until I find one that does.

I would love to hear your experience with this process. I am also interested in any processes that you have learned that helped you to be more forgiving towards yourself, or others.
Love and Peace